A dream I had
Everyone in the world certainly has dreams, and hopes to make it come true one day.But having a nightmare makes everybody scared.One day, I lay on the bed and was sound sleep.I seemed to fall into a place, which had a gruesome villa before my eyes.
Just then, the door opened.I felt very curious about that, so I got into the house.Suddenly, I heard some voice on the second floor.I ran up the stairs to give the rooms a thorough check.But, no one was there.So, I decided to run down and leave this house.When I wanted to downstairs, I stumbled and fell from the highest stairs.
It was so painful!I felt very suspectable and run away here.But the view before I entered was changed.Surprisedly, the villa was disappeared.Nothing could be seen.I went straight ahead, and walked carelessly attention to walk.I fell into a big hole.
At that time, I woke up with a star.I wiped the sweat off my forehead and shivered.
That was a terrible dream I had had.
Just then, the door opened.I felt very curious about that, so I got into the house.Suddenly, I heard some voice on the second floor.I ran up the stairs to give the rooms a thorough check.But, no one was there.So, I decided to run down and leave this house.When I wanted to downstairs, I stumbled and fell from the highest stairs.
It was so painful!I felt very suspectable and run away here.But the view before I entered was changed.Surprisedly, the villa was disappeared.Nothing could be seen.I went straight ahead, and walked carelessly attention to walk.I fell into a big hole.
At that time, I woke up with a star.I wiped the sweat off my forehead and shivered.
That was a terrible dream I had had.

9 Comments:
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1..But, no one was there.So, I decided to run down and leave this house.我覺得but不要放句首比較好可以用however之類的,而且後面那個leave要用過去式
2.!I felt very suspectable and run away here.那個run用過去式
3.Surprisedly好像沒有這個字,可以用surprisingly
4.I went straight ahead, and walked carelessly attention to walk那個用walking要不然就and I walked而且最後用to walk 感覺怪怪的
5.而且整篇故事感覺沒什麼爆點,要不然你就看的個鬼之類的也好
I seemed to fall into a place>>怪怪的 我覺得用It seemed that I fall into比較好
felt very suspectable and run away "here".>>應該是用there吧?
1.and run away here.把run改成過去式
I woke up with a star
是I woke up with a "start"
I lay on the bed and was sound sleep.這句怪怪的
2.When I "go" downstairs 這樣比較順
3.I felt very suspectable and "ran" away here.
I felt very suspectable and "run" away here. 應該是ran
and ”run” away here.->ran
1..I decided to run down and leave this house.->leave要改成left
2..I felt very suspectable and run away her->run要改成ran
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